Blurp
Thursday, Jul. 01, 2004, 1:55 P.M.

I feel like a girl in the corner. Sitting with my knees to my chest, and staring. Just staring into the void. I am staring at nothing, I am feeling nothing, and thinking nothing. I am feeling mislead, confused, and yet feeling all together at the same time. I am not wondering, I am not thinking, Iam not even feeling any more. I am just being me...A girl sitting in the corner staring into the void, of nothing. Not thinking not getting confused. I am wearing a white dress of rags, my hair let down, and my arms cut. But it doesn't affect me. Because this is me only thinking of being me. The Dr has me on these new pills to be that. To be that person. I would kill to be that person. A girl sitting in the corner not thinking. Thinking about work and family, and how life is getting easier and yet seems so hard. Your beauty is that of a starving soul looking for peace and prosperity. You dieing eyes are of gray shadows and a blue show of pain and misery, that spell nothing. You unwilling smile that of a spokes man afraid to show emotion, for that may change him. You arms are your killer your pain and your refuge. You are nothing more then a emotional wreck....People look at you and see a smiling face with a tone of cover up on to cover the bags, and the pain on your skin. People look at your smiling face and no longer see a happy girl, instead they see a zombie that insists upon walking round. This sure she can survive. The days I live in just seem to pass me by, as if I were standing still. The world is passing me by, and all I can do is stand still, observe and wonder. Its like I am stuck. I can't move, feel, or even cry for help. I am in a mold, I can't move my feet, hands or body. I am mentally crying for help. And as these days pass me by I wonder if I play a part in them. It feels like my life is passing by, and I go to reach for it and its gone. Iam standing observing, feeling, and wondering.