Speachless
Monday, Jun. 07, 2004, 5:02 P.M.

Okay, So I went back and read some of my old entry's not biggie, right? Wrong! Oh My God, for the most part I don;t even know the person that wrote that crap. Who read it? It sucks, its depressing and terrible. All it does is go in cirles over nothing. About how much life sucks and reall how confused Iam about it. I go from one extream to another. I go from comiting sucicide to yeah life is great and I totaly fit in and I see it as being good. When I really jsut want to say Fuck off, I hate life and the things I have done in it. But instead I created a fake figure to take the place of me. How smart? yeah I think so. I said that soemone else was going threw something because I was to scared to go threw the pain my self! Man I am smart........ Read the rest down Below --------------------------------------------------> I can't seem to find anything important enough to say. And then I do try to say something and its like I open my mouth but nothing comes out but..."Thats Dirty". I feel like Iam stuck in a deep hole. Not like a depresion one or anything just a thought one. I have none and for once I feel as though I don't have to have anything to say. I can be like yesterday and just observe.I can just sit there and see what is going on. I don't need to say anything, cause I don;t feel anything. Why say someothing when you ahve nothing to say. Iam tired of all the fluf Iam full of. Because now Iam Speachless...... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Do You ever feel as though you have a million and one things on your mind but you have no way of saying them. You tryed writing them, you tried saying them, you even tried to type them, but they don't come out. Or they come just don't come clean, or come out compleate or even make sence? Do you never feel this? I do. I feel it now. I feel the confusion and all the miss understanding. I don't know if its me. It maybe me jsut looking for more. Looking for a deep meaning someting hidden that I missed, maybe it never comes out right because Iam looking serching,something that is not there. Iam looking for something better, a smarter way of saying something to make me feel better. I just don't know any more. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~