Shes Back!
Wednesday, Feb. 25, 2004, 7:37 P.M.

She cried out murder, she cried out pain, she cried out suffering she cried to her self. As she looks down to her self, and sees something familur, something she has seen before. Something from her past, that she has forgotten. As she realizes what she has done, as soon as reality sets in she graps for a rag to place over this open wound, on her hand. Its on her body, its on her self, its where it does not belong. This was not on purpose. She did not place this battel wound here. She did not do this to her self. This jsut came, it did not belong. She did not enjoy it, she did not wish for more of it. She didn;t like it. She knew it was diry this time, or so much more than dirty, it was painfull, it was MURDER! Was this type of murder real? Was it a sign? Was it soemthing she was ment to do? She stops all she is doing to continue. Maybe she will enjoy it this time, maybe she will love it like she used to. Maybe she will belong some where again. Or not....she says to her self. As she looks at her tamered fingures, and arms, her beaten up legs, and torso, as she looks at her body, that isn't eve hers any more. She doesn't reconize it any more. She doesn't know its hers. How could this happen? How could it get so out of hand. All she wanted to do was express her self. See if she injoyed this form of religion. This form of life. At first she didn't she didn't like it all. And yet it grew on her, as the wounders grew on her body. She stopps to only go back. She can;t help it. Some eat, some stop eating, she cuts. She realses, she hopes the blood loss will make up for her losses in a day.... She starts to realize the losses she sufferes from are not worth cutting over, and yet she does. Its amazing how it over takes you. It contols your mind, your life, you! It contols us...... She is deteremind to beat it, it will take time, it will take strenght, it will take her self. She stops cleans her wounds, and carries on with her day...... Goes back to cring, goes back to the pain, goes back to life......