I do Love YOU!
Tuesday, Feb. 24, 2004, 9:19 P.M.

I welcome you into my world, into my life, and into my soul. I welcome you into my self, into my deepest thoughts, and fears. I welcomed you, and all you did was abuse it, the privilege, the well being, the advantage you had over me. But as I look back on it, I realize I abused you. I abused the good times, and the sad, I abused the mushy times, and sappy ones, even the fuzzy ones, I abused the angry ones, and hurtful ones, I abused you. I took advantage of your well being and your good heart. I took advantage of the life you gave me, and the happiness you caused. You told me you loved me, I told you I cared. You made a promise to me, and I said no thank-you. You offered your self, and I turned my back. You made a mistake, I chose to not forgive. You walked away hurt, and full of tears, I laughed, I cried deep down inside as I always do. I almost lost control, like you. I almost told you I cared, I almost lied to you, I almost cried. But instead I yelled at you. I told you, �You are an Ass Hole, treating me like that! Choosing a friend, over the love we shared, I told you, I hated you, I told you, I never cared, I told you, that if I was to ever let you back into my life it would take a little more then a room full of roses and balloons.�

As you walked away on that cold night, as you walked away slowly, showing now fear, showing no pain, as you walked away I did cry, Because I did care, because I do love you, can�t you see that? Don�t you care? I told you a lie, can�t you tell? If not then its not meant to be��.

I do Love you!

_______________________________________________________ As we sit on the side of the road, we realize; that life is like that. It is full of hurtful times, and happy ones too, it is full of silly girl�s giggles, and the times we brake down and cry. Life is about recognizing you friends, family, and lovers. Life is about discovering me and you our time of discovery never ends. Our time with each other never stops growing. As are lives change we discover new things, and old things, we discover so much more than our selves, we discover each other. This is what life is, and what it is all about. _______________________________________________________ Today was a day she recognized, it was one of those days you hear about, but never think you your self will ever have to face. A day that you your self will never have to deal with, a day that you dread to have to face, head to head. Today was the day of her Doctor appointment. The day that she would find out, find out if what she though was true to find out if she had another little being inside her. She is going to find out if she is going to continue to be her self, or move on and become a new self. She has a million things running threw her head as she rides the buss to her appointment. She can�t help but wonder how her life is going change. How even the little things are going to be different, the time she spends with friends, the things she eats, the extra activities she enjoys. Life is going to change if this happens. She is going to change. What are her parents, boy friend and friends to think of her now, is her final thought. As she hears the news of life, of her new being, her new begging, her new welcoming. Her gut drops to the ground, and her heart beats faster, her pulse increases, and she begging�s to sweat, her mouth goes dry. She try�s to talk; she try�s to say something that is on her mind. She try�s to decipher one of the thousands of questions, and thoughts going threw her mind, all she wants to do is find it. Instead she burst into tears, and then began to get angry. This wasn�t her fault, it was his. No, No it wasn�t it takes two to make a baby. It takes to do what they did. She regains control over her self, and thinks what now? What am I going to do? The doctor poses something she never even considered; abortion. Does she want to do that? Does she want to kill the little being insider her? She will have to think about that. _______________________________________________________ She is not you she admites.She is not in the pain you suffer. She is not in the death you are. She is not doing what you are. But she does have it too. She does have pain. She has death. She has things you do not. She has 8 years of life, do you? She has pain every day that you do not. She has problems you can not imagine. She has tears you do not. She has pain and missery. She has deep hiddin things. She has things hidden in a box, on a shelf, coloured. Do you? She has death you have murder. She has self knowledge, She chooses to use it, do you? She have love, and realize She has it, do you? She won't get attached, would you? Would you try to love someone your gonna lose? Didn't think so..... So next you wanna enter a room, a room of murder and death, next time you wanna hit someone, next time you wanna just sit down and cry and feel sorry for your self. Look around. Look at the people around you. See how they deal with their life. And then think about all the things you don't know about them, that they couver up. Then cut your self, not for your pain but for someone else.