The story
Monday, Feb. 16, 2004, 9:56 Pm

As the girl described before. You are not sitting in your bedroom pondering life, and how if effects us as individuals. You also notice that life is�t what it is made up to be. Life does suck, and there are things in it that you can not control. In fact more times than not, you can not control any thing that is happening in your confusing life of nothingness � As she sits her room, staring out the window and observing the thunder and rain falling, she is thankful. Thankful for so much more than the power in the wind, earth and fire, she is thankful for the lessons she has learned. She has learned about life, and things in it. She has learned about love. And wondered �How many lovers will stay�Putting up with this shit day after day� She is thinking to her self that maybe life is�t about the people that stat, but the instead the people that leave. The people that didn't�t understand, or didn't�t even try to understand you. Maybe life is about those people. The unforgettable ones, because they left you in such pain that you don�t dare forget, for it might happen again. Maybe life is about that�.or is it? Do we really remember those terrible feelings that that person left? Doubt it otherwise how would you explain those terrible mistakes we make, twice�� She is a girl unlike any other. This girl has a name. A unmentionable name of coarse. This girl is�t pretty, is�t smart and is�t even sincere. She is just different. And yet she finds her self in the same dark, cold, room. She finds her self in the same position as before. The same cradled self inflicted position, the same position of misery, of pain, and death. What she thought she had ran away from turned out to be only a misleading of a dream. When she woke she realized that was not life that was a dream a hesitation. She has yet to get out�to get ride of this terrible nightmare called life. She doesn't�t know how to over come the un-capable. She doesn't�t know how to move on, and forget. How to realize that love doesn't�t always hurt, or that life isn't�t all pain and death. She can not over come her imperfections. Her one size to big, her pointy nose, or high pitched voice. She can�t see past the big hips and small breast, she can�t see that short lags are lush and round faces, maybe sexy. She can�t understand that someone will love her for all of these things, or that people already do lover her for all of these things. So she stays in this nightmare. She stays there feeling sorry for her self. Thinking how if only the right person would open the door she can�t seem to move, she would be saved. If only life was like that. Isn't�t its harder than that. Its life. She wants that fairytale life that has already passed simply because she has closed the door to her favorite nightmare room, so tight that not even she can escape. She can�t open her eyes and see that it is all alright. She can�t even begging to open her big brown crying eyes. A girls eyes can say so much more than a smile, a laugh, or a body type. A girls smile can say what she is thinking. A girls smile can tell a sad story. A smile tells the happy. A glossy eye is a painful one�.maybe you can make her realize she can open that door� As I sit in the room, as before, I wonder why it is so powerful. Why so many get pulled into it. Why it keeps attacking the week. Why it pulls someone in so far and never lets them out. Why it would be so bare. Is it because then their would be no memory. Is it because then it shows no emotion? Is it because then any one can be in it? And yet I sit here and realize I don;t belong here. I don;t fit in like the others. I have no reason to be here. I have no pain, I have love, and I love back. I found lust, and twiterpation, I found anticipation, I found it all. I have it all. I have good friends, and good enemies too. I have the key to open the door that locks for others. I have a key in one hand and a sharp razor in the other....I throw the razor in the deepest corner of the room, and go skipping out, I close the door behind me. Because I know not all will make the same decision as me..... Your arm is bleeding....you heart is crying...you eyes are filled with pain...your smile is gone...you cheeks are red...your nose is bleeding....Your voice is gone.... This is the sacrifice of life, love, and lust.......